A self-confident person has presence, draws people in and commands the room. People admire and get inspired being around such a person.
The art of real confidence involves genuinely believing in who you truly are and, as a result, constructing your life based on that belief. Self-confidence is not a matter of being better than other people; it’s not competition. It is offering yourself the happiness you deserve and sharing light with others.
With so many elements that can threaten and deflate it, self-confidence is built upon constant practice. Approach it as a dynamic process throughout your life, not just as an attainable quality. Fake confidence masks deep insecurities which are not a good look.
Self-doubt is that destructive inner voice that holds you back. It acts as a barrier to success, persuading you not to seize opportunities. Starting something becomes harder than it needs to, all because of this troubling voice that convinces you that you’re not good enough for that kind of task.
Sometimes you may well start but doubt yourself along the way, making it almost impossible to finish anything. On the contrary, self-doubt can be the very thing that allows for a sober reflection of your current crippling limitations or bad ideas.
In this article, we explore ways to overcome moments of self-doubt, why it is vital to cultivate authentic self-confidence, and how to build confidence to help you move forward.
WHY SELF CONFIDENCE IS IMPORTANT
All of us could do with a boost of self-confidence because;
- It heightens your sense of self-worth
- It leads to better enjoyment in life and its activities
- It boosts energy and motivation to act
- It reduces self-doubt, stress or social anxiety
- It amplifies the quality of success
- It influences leadership
- It acts as a weapon for how the world treats us
HOW TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE
1. Prepare for situations
Get into the habit of making plans. You don’t have it all figured out – that’s not authentic confidence. Prepare for what is ahead, ask questions, research extensively, and practise continuously.
It is important to note that planning for every single move is overwhelming and can backfire. Reality is unpredictable, so make room for course correction along the way.
Rough planning is enough to start your journey and allows for adjustments when confronted with new knowledge and experiences. Your competence in that area of work will begin to grow, and confidence will follow.
2. Explore discomfort and embrace failure
The fear of failure hinders us from doing the things we genuinely want. To do what you’re afraid of doing is to stop fear from controlling you. So seek discomfort and be okay with feeling afraid.
Explore novel experiences that will make you uncomfortable to boost your confidence. Know that success is not guaranteed and that failing is a test of your endurance. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Growth comes with walking into uncertainty and experiencing that discomfort – it steers you on.
You’ll never know if you don’t try. You’ll learn from failure. Setbacks are not an identity, they happen to anyone who takes chances. View setbacks as temporary or else you’ll get trapped into thinking you cannot do better.
Leave the comfort zone and take a chance at discomfort. It will shape how you approach things and build your confidence.
3. Trust in your abilities
As previously mentioned, self-confidence is fuelled by self-belief. You should believe in your ability to figure out things as you go even if you don’t have it all figured out.
You can get through the other end of a challenging situation. You can adjust and adapt to unfamiliar experiences when it gets tough.
4. Avoid the comparison trap
Self-doubt creeps up when you are hell-bent on comparing yourself and your success to others. If there’s anyone you should compare yourself to is yourself – how far you’ve come and grown.
Accept that people will have more experience and knowledge than you do. A confident person is humble enough to know that they cannot do everything alone. It’s okay that you don’t know everything. We are students of life.
It takes wisdom and strength to ask for their input, work with them and learn from them instead of competing with them. If anyone shares feedback with you, take it in good faith. Not as an attack on your ego.
In the same breath, people are too busy with their own lives to be thinking about what you do or worry about what you think of them. Don’t let them stay rent-free in your mind.
5. Manage your emotions
Confidence comes in waves. There are days when you feel on top of the world and days when your faith will be shattered. You will make mistakes; it’s part of life. Be more self-aware and know how to control your highs and lows emotionally and mentally. Don’t fight fear, learn from it.
When that inner critic shows up, don’t let it spin you out of control. Say no to negative thought patterns immediately they appear to take over. They can shape your reality. Traces of who you become are always present in who you were, so embrace the best version of yourself.
6. Journal regularly
One of the most exceptional habits to cultivate is journaling. It is a realist record and a reflection of your life. Journaling helps you keep score of positive experiences. It also shows how you overcome the obstacles which help whenever you go into a negative spin.
You gain more clarity when you refer to something you wrote down as opposed to trying to run it all through your mind. The clearer an issue becomes, the easier it becomes to solve it.
If you look to the past and see how great things turned out despite moments of self-doubt, it makes sense to let go and focus on the positive actions that led to the outcome.
Write down your mantra and vision and memorize it. Daily positive affirmations shape your outlook.
7. Seek for a support system
It can be friends, family or even a therapist. Do not live in a bubble with your own thoughts. Sharing your thoughts and fears with someone else is therapeutic. Don’t be afraid of what they will say or think.
A fresh perspective helps make sense of every situation. Get your folks on board and ask for their support or advice. Most people are happy to help.
8. Celebrate small wins
Celebrate your successes despite how small they may seem. Buy yourself something you’ve wanted to for some time. Take yourself out for a lovely dinner.
Be in the moment and congratulate yourself. It will motivate you more to take on such challenges or tasks, pushing any doubts to the side. Keep moving, and you will get even bigger wins.
Someone else’s enthusiasm towards life can motivate you to grow into your own. Spend your ‘me time’ learning things that will help boost your optimism.
They may include listening to podcasts, reading motivational books and taking online courses to boost your skills. Do artistic activities that encourage creative expression, explore your emotions and help interact positively with others.
Take the knowledge and put it into practice. The more you skilled you become, the more your fear shrinks and the more your confidence grows.
If you are a creative struggling deeply with issues of self-doubt or you are generally low in confidence, there’s a wonderful course created by Mel Robbins that offers strategies which stop the habit of self-doubt and build real confidence.
Confidence is earned – let your actions speak for yourself.